Eric's Story Series: "The Suit from Mr. Lam"

I had worked for ING Bank Shenzhen Branch for 6 years. ING Bank was always an important part of my life. Mr. Lam was our general manager. He was also the Chairman of Foreign Bankers Association in Shenzhen. Mr. Lam was a perfect dresser: his clothes were perfect, his hair was perfect, he looked just … prefect. Mr. Lam taught us many things. The most important thing was respect. He said “respect is earned, not given”. As young professionals working in the bank, we must pay attention to our appearance and groom our mannerism. He sometimes went so far that he asked the girls in the office: “Do you shower every day?” We were embarrassed by his questions but we knew he was well-intentioned and he cared for each one of us like a father. One day he called me into his office. He pulled this suit out of his closet. He said: “Eric, I’ve gained a lot of weight recently and can’t fit into this suit any more. You can wear it if you don’t mind. It’s almost new.” Back then I was aware of difference of living standards between people from Hong Kong and mainland China. I was sensitive and afraid of being looked down upon. But Mr. Lam appeared very sincere and warm. I looked at my suit – it was loose and didn’t match my pants. And I looked at his: 3-piece, 100% wool, made in UK. I decided that his was better. So I said something like: sure … why not … I don’t mind. I tried the suit on. It fit me perfectly. Little did I know that was just the beginning of a lot of mentoring and coaching from Mr. Lam on appearance and mannerism?

·        A general rule of thumb for men is “buy less but better”.

·        Men should get dressed up to work. “You feel good about yourself and you feel good about your chances.” A suit is important for a man. Colors and cuts are important when you select your blazer and pants. You can’t go wrong with classic colors – black, blue, and grey – they’re easy to coordinate. Tailored suits are expensive. You can go to Harry Rosen, Moores, Hugo Boss, Tip Top to buy mass manufactured suits. Just make sure everything fits well and you feel comfortable.

·        Dress shirts (collar stays) and matching ties.

·        Every man should wear flat-front pants rather than pleats. You don’t need extra fabric at your waistline. Wearing flat-front pants can take 10 pounds off your body.

·        Invest in shoes. Shoes are something that women notice. Well-made shoes cost more for a reason … because they are well made and take a lot of effort and craftsmanship and quality ingredients. If you buy well-made shoes, put shoe trees in them, taps on the heels and toes, they will last for a long time. It’s an investment and it’s worth every penny.

·        Invest in quality watch, pen, belt, wallet … and undergarments e.g. CKU tank tops, v-neck tees, bottoms, and pants. You may ask who knows if I wear crappy underwear? Well, you know and you wife knows. And knowing that you wear crappy underwear you wouldn’t feel good.

·        You can save on men’s cologne. As the saying goes, “no scent makes sense.”

           Contrary to what we think, it doesn’t cost that much to suit up. It’s not a cost. It’s not an expense. It’s an investment. A lot of people have invested in their house, their car but forgot to invest in their appearance. They have the money but they don’t seem to have the quality and comfort and confidence and satisfaction of life in general. So let’s make it our New Year’s Resolution to groom our mannerism and outward appearance, at work and in life!